Listen To Your Heart
by cynful.musings
Summary: This is a songfic written for my headmistress.


They do not belong to me…quite sadly.

"Listen To Your Heart"  
Roxette

**_I know there's something in the wake of your smile.  
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.  
You've built a love but that love falls apart.  
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark._**

Harry and Draco sat in a secluded alcove with their arms wrapped around each other. Harry was nibbling on Draco's neck, but Draco was gazing out. "Harry, I'm tired of this. I hate hiding."

Harry sighed. "I'm tired of hiding, too, but you know we have to hide. We can't just come out in the open."

Draco turned and looked at his boyfriend, "Why can't we do it? Why?"

Harry looked at Draco. This was becoming a very old fight and he was getting tired of the fight, not just the hiding. "Draco, can I remind you that your father is a Death Eater?"

"Harry, how many times are you going to use my father as an excuse? Are you just afraid of 'coming out of the closet' or is it the coming out of the closet with me?" Draco asked defensively.

"Come on, Draco. Don't start today. Let's just have a good day and enjoy each other's company."

"Each other's company where no one can see us, right Harry?" Draco was getting angry. This was going to be the last time he fought over this with Harry. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Draco, I love you. I like being here where no one can see me. I don't like people staring at me." Harry tried to defend himself.

"Harry, you don't like people staring and talking about you, but you know they will. The day you get married it will be in every magazine and newspaper that is published 'Boy-Who-Lived marries blah blah Let's wish them the best and stay as much in their life as possible," Draco replied. "When is you're life ever going to be without people looking at you or talking about you? Never!"

"Calm down, love. I'm just not ready for the world to know about us yet. You know there will be reporters outside of the gates. Can't you see that headline? "Boy-who-Lived shags Boy-of-Death-Eater" Do you really want to face that yet? I know I don't," Harry tried to say calmly.

**_Listen to your heart  
when he's calling for you.  
Listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do.  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye.  
_**

Draco looked out into the hallway. He could see Weasley and Granger walking down the hall, holding hands. Harry stopped talking and held his breath, hoping they didn't hear the two of them fighting. Draco knew him so well. He would stay quiet and if they should be heard then he would pull out his wand and threaten to hex Draco. It was funny, he never worried about it with anyone, but Weasley and Granger.

"That's it, isn't it? You just don't want them to find out. You couldn't handle having to fight your best friends over the boy you love."

"Draco, no. It isn't that. You know it isn't that. I told you before, they won't understand. I don't even know if I understand it."

"You know, Harry, one of these days I'm not going to be waiting anymore. I'm tired of hiding from everyone. I'm tired of hiding from myself. I want to be able to tell the world that I have actually fallen in love and he is magnificent. He is the most caring and wonderful man in the world. Somehow, I don't think I will ever be able to tell anyone." Draco stood up to leave the alcove, but Harry pulled him back into his lap.

"Please, Draco, just a little longer. Let me break it to them slowly. Please." Harry begged. He pulled Draco closer and began to kiss his ear, "Just a little longer."

"This is it, Harry. I mean it. I am not going to stay hidden forever. You better get it taken care of," Draco demanded.

**_Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.  
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.  
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,  
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.  
_**

Care of Magical Creatures was held out by the lake the following Monday. Hagrid was giving a lecture on the squid and his magical properties. As usual, Draco and his friends weren't paying attention. They were sitting back on the grass talking and making jokes about the joke of a class they were being taught.

Harry glared at Draco. Draco knew Harry hated it when he interrupted Hagrid's class, but today he just didn't care. He had meant it when he told Harry he was tired of hiding their love. He was going to do his best to make sure he pushed Harry as far as he could. He was tired of hiding and it was time that Harry acted like a man and admitted he loved him.

Draco leaned over and made a crude remark to Crabbe who laughed and threw some paper at Weasley. Draco laughed as he watched Harry pull Ron back over. Hermione grabbed Ron's hand and whispered in his ear. She kissed his cheek.

Draco watched that scene with disgust and envy. He wanted more than anything to be able to hold Harry's hand where everyone could see. He was tired of being someone locked away in the dark, someone who had no feelings, someone who would always fade into the background and disappear. The only problem with that was he was a Malfoy and Malfoys NEVER fade into the background.

As Hagrid dismissed the class, Draco got Goyle to go bump into the two lovebirds. Finally, we was going to get a reaction out of Harry. Hopefully it would be the desired reaction, but Draco decided last night that this was it. He couldn't hide anymore.

"Ferretface, keep your goons to yourself."

"Why don't you make me Weasel?" Draco goaded. He was watching Harry's reaction as he found with Harry's best friend. Harry's face was turning red.

Ron tried to run over and attack Draco, but Harry and Hermione held him back. "Oh, too bad, you have to have a girl hold you back. That is a damn shame."

"Malfoy, watch it. Leave him alone," Harry said warningly.

"Oooo, I'm so scared, Potty," he retorted. "What are you going to do if I don't?" With that, Draco stood up and walked over to him, his steel colored eyes blazing like silver pools of fire. They matched the green flames reflecting back at him.

"Malfoy, I don't want to fight with you today," he said warningly.

"Oh my, do I need to pull out my calendar and see when a good date for you to fight will be?" Draco asked sarcastically.

Hermione was still holding Ron back, watching the other two fight. She could sense the undercurrents between the two. This wasn't a normal fight, this one went deeper.

"You know what? Why don't you burn that calendar? I don't want to fight anymore."

"Well, you know what? That suits me fine, Potter. I'm tired of these games we keep playing anyway. Why don't you just run along and have a little threesome with Weasel and Granger? That is what you really want, isn't it, to be a part of their happy little lovefest?" Malfoy spit out. Even Crabbe and Goyle sensed a change in the fight between the two enemies.

"That is just too wrong to even comment on. I bet you are just jealous because Crabbe and Goyle won't let you join in with them." Harry responded with anger.

Draco looked up at his boyfriend, his eyes shining with the unshed tears that threatened to fall. "I could join them anytime I want. They aren't afraid of who they are. They aren't afraid of what they are. They aren't afraid of what others will think of them," with that he turned and started to walk away.

"Don't walk away from me. Don't ever walk away from me when you call me a coward. You don't have the guts to walk away from your Death Eater family, so don't you dare call me a coward," Harry yelled. He had forgotten they were in front of everyone.

It was definitely a good thing they were there in front of others. They couldn't believe it when Draco looked into Harry's eyes one last time. "Yeah, that's right. I'm afraid to walk away from my Death Eater family. You are so right about that Harry. Do you know why? They love me, they aren't afraid of love. They show me how much they love me. They don't give a damn that I'm gay. Yes, I can say it out loud, can you? No, you will never admit it. You are too afraid and too ashamed of it to ever admit it."

Draco turned to walked away again, but Harry grabbed him by the arm. His eyes were blazing. Draco looked into those eyes fearless. He stood his ground as Harry threatened to disembowel him. Harry fed up with Draco pushed him away from him and that is when Draco stumbled. He landed right on the edge of the lake. Ron couldn't stop laughing, even when Hermione was trying to get him to stop. Harry stomped off and Draco sat there staring at the back of the man he loved. No one could tell if the water on Draco's face was actually from the lake or if he was actually crying. The others started to walk away to gossip about what they just heard. Crabbe walked over to Draco and pulled him up out of the lake. They walked quietly back to their Common Room.

Crabbe broke the silence only once, "So, the one you have been seeing…it was Potter, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was him. Now it's over." Draco said quietly.

"Good, you are too good for him anyway," Goyle replied.

He didn't have to worry about the two of them. They wouldn't tell anyone. He half smiled to himself, at least he accomplished in letting the school know he was gay. He didn't have to hide it anymore. He just wished Harry cared half as much about him.

**_Listen to your heart  
when he's calling for you.  
Listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do.  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye.  
_**

"Harry, you're gay?" Ron asked for the tenth time since they walked away.

"Yes, Ron, I am," Harry sighed. He hated it. Draco pushed him and pushed him too far this time. He didn't want the world to know. He didn't want to have to answer all of these questions. He just wanted to live his life in peace and quiet.

"Ron, leave him alone," Hermione said quietly.

"But, Hermione, did you hear that? I mean, I always wondered, but for him to really admit it?"

"Ronald Weasley! Can you not see that your best friend is distraught?" Hermione chided.

Ron looked at Harry sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Mate. I've been a real ass. I'm just glad that you finally told us."

"But he didn't tell us, Ron. Malfoy did. The question is how did Malfoy know for certain?" Hermione wasn't really questioning Harry. She watched the fight too carefully not to know what had happened.

"Hermione, drop it. Drop it now," Harry said quietly. "I don't want to listen. I don't want to talk. I just want it to be quiet. I don't want to hear any voices."

"What did I miss?" Ron asked, hopelessly lost.

"Ron, Harry just broke up with his boyfriend, if I'm not mistaken. Is that right, Harry?" Hermione pushed on.

"Yes, dammit. Do you have to know everything?" he questioned as he slammed the Common Room door open. Word had spread quickly. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Harry.

"Congratulations, Harry. I'm so glad you have decided to be open about your sexuality," Colin Creevey began but stopped when he saw the anger on Harry's face. He turned and ran to a corner.

"So, Harry, who is the lucky guy?" Dean shouted from across the room.

"Harry, did you have to break his heart?" Lavender questioned.

"Yeah, did you see him? He looked like he was crying, but I couldn't tell." Patil continued.

"See, this is why I didn't tell anyone. Will you all shut up and leave me alone!" Harry yelled and ran up the steps to his dorm. He threw himself on his bed and let himself cry the tears that had been threatening.

His heart was breaking. He told Draco he didn't want anyone to know, now the entire school knew. From the sound of it, the entire school knew who his boyfriend was. After that fight, though, he wouldn't have to worry about a boyfriend. There was no way they could go back to the way they were.

He hit his hand into the pillow and cried himself to sleep.

**_And there are voices  
that want to be heard.  
So much to mention  
but you can't find the words.  
The scent of magic,  
the beauty that's been  
when love was wilder than the wind._**

Harry skipped dinner that night. Ron and Hermione sat on Ron's bed and talked quietly about Harry. Ron was taking the news well, considering Malfoy was the boy in question. Hermione threatened to leave him if he didn't accept it. She was the smart one, the one that realized that Harry wouldn't tell them because of their animosity towards Malfoy.

Harry heard them talking, whispering, making plans, but it was too late. He stared at the top of his bed. His heart was broken. Tonight was going to be the first night he didn't run out to see Draco. Slowly he drowned out the voices next to him and fell asleep again.

The next morning in the Great Hall he sat down facing the Slytherin table, as he usually did. He did his cursory glance at the table and saw Draco sitting in his normal seat surrounded by the other Slytherins. A few of them looked over at Harry and glared at him.

Draco didn't look too good. His hair wasn't perfect and it looked like he just threw his robes on that morning. Harry knew Draco was upset. He knew it was over completely now. His heart broke even more.

The owls flew in with their morning delivery. Hedwig dropped a small red rose on his lap that had a letter attached to it. He went to pet her, but she pecked his hand. He should have known that Hedwig would be upset with him. She loved Draco.

"Are you even going to read the note, Harry?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Why should I? He said it loud and clear yesterday," Harry replied. He opened up the note to read it.

_H,_

I'm sorry. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't sit and watch the other two together knowing I couldn't be with you. I hope you forgive me one day.

I will love you always.

D

Harry laid his head on his hands and tried to control the tears that threatened to fall. He heard the voices of the others surrounding him. He dropped the note onto the table and Ron read it to Hermione.

"Well, is he just going to sit there?"

"Why doesn't he just go to him? I mean he did hurt him yesterday"

"Yeah, I know. My friend saw him in the halls afterwards and there were tears falling down his face."

"Is he just an idiot?"

"If I had someone love me like that, I wouldn't let it stop me."

All the voices surrounding him, telling him he should go to Draco. Shouldn't Draco come to him? Draco is the one that started the fight. He looked up and saw that Draco had left. He looked around quickly and saw the back of Crabbe and Goyle walking out.

Harry sighed, he wouldn't follow him anyway. He didn't want to come out of the closet. He was quite happy the way it was. Why did things need to change anyway.

"Potter." Harry looked up to see Pansy standing in front of him.

"What do you want?" He questioned tersely.

"You hurt him. You have destroyed his heart. You will pay for this unless you fix it." Pansy stood her ground and looked at him. She had four or five other Slytherins behind her, all saying the same thing.

"He hurt me," was all he could reply.

"Fuck you. He has loved you for so long. We all have known it. We knew when he finally got you. He changed, but we didn't say a word to anyone, not even him. He just wanted to be with you, show you and the world how much he could love. Now he is destroyed. If he doesn't get fixed, you are going to wish that Voldemort killed you," she finished. She turned and walked away from the table.

Ron sat there with his mouth open. Harry wasn't in the mood. Hermione was just about to start in on him, but he stopped her.

"He hurt me. He needs to come to me. He needs to fix me." Harry stated. He almost believed that, almost. He knew that Draco was too stubborn. It was over. There was nothing he could do.

Hermione was fed up by this point. "Harry, you are my best friend but you are such an arse! If you love the man, get your arse up and go find him. Ron may not have liked him much, but Ron isn't the one that would be sleeping next to him. If he is the one that you want to be with, go tell him. We are going to support you no matter what." After saying that, she got up and stormed out of the Great Hall as well.

Harry looked at the others at his table. "You were a jerk yesterday, Harry. You don't deserve him. Have you thought about that yet? You don't deserve his love, not when you can so callously throw it in his face."

One by one, his friends got up and walked away. He could feel everything within him dying. He realized that he just lost the one good thing in his life. The one thing in his life that he didn't think anyone else would accept. It had been so magical and moving and now it was over.

**_Listen to your heart  
when he's calling for you.  
Listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do.  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye.  
_**

Quickly, Harry got up. He couldn't lose Draco. He couldn't. Everyone was mad at him because he threw Draco's love back in his face.

He ran out of the Great Hall. He ran down the hall towards the dungeons. Fortunately, he ran into Pansy.

"Pansy, wait!" he cried.

She stopped and looked at him. "What do you want now? I'm sorry I'm not going to let you destroy any more of the men in the house."

"Where is he? Please tell me." Harry begged. "I need to see him."

"You need to see him, to tear him to shreds a bit more?"

"No, I need to make it up to him. I love him, Pansy. Please."

She looked into his desperate eyes and realized that something finally got through his thick skull. "He is on his way to the lake. He will hurt me for telling you, but I think he needs you more than he will admit.

"BUT, if you so much as hurt him anymore, I will kill you slowly," she said calmly.

Harry pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead. "Thank you. I promise, he can tear me to shreds."

He quickly ran out the door, knocking over Ron in the process. "I have to get to him, Ron. I'm sorry." He kept running as he yelled over his shoulder. He raced to the edge of the water.

Draco was standing there tossing stones into the water. He didn't turn when Harry ran over to him.

"Draco," he said hesitantly.

"Potter, what do you want?" He didn't know if he could take another round of being thrown into the lake.

"Draco, please look at me." He tried to pull Draco into his arms.

Draco let Harry wrap his arms around him, but he didn't loosen up. He kept staring off into the water.

"Draco, I love you," he said quietly.

"Yeah, Potter. I love you, too, but I can't pretend anymore. I won't lie to myself anymore. You don't love me. You don't want to be seen with me. You are ashamed of who I am, where I come from." Draco replied.

"Draco, I'm here now, aren't I? Please, Draco. Don't shut me out."

Draco looked up at Harry. He was surprised at the tears rolling down Harry's face. He brushed them off with his finger. "Why are you here now, Harry?" he asked quietly.

"I love you, Draco. I don't care if your father were Voldemort himself, I love you. I need you. I don't care about your family. I don't care about your wealth. I just love you. You are my heart and soul."

"Can you accept me in the public, Harry? Can you handle the publicity. I refuse to hide because of who you are. I am a Malfoy and we do not hide."

"Anything you want, Draco. Please don't leave me. Please. I love you. You have my heart and soul. I can't go on without you." Harry pulled Draco in closer.

Draco looked into Harry's eyes as he let his tears fall. "Do you promise, Harry? What about when Granger and Weasley get here. They are walking up now. What about when they are here?"

"Honestly, Draco, if I don't get you back, I think most of Hogwarts is going to hunt me down and hurt me."

"You do deserve that," he replied.

Harry looked down at Draco, "Please don't tell me this is goodbye. Please."

Draco looked at his boyfriend and smiled. It was his first real smile in days. He wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders and kissed him. "Don't do this again, Harry."

"I promise, Draco. I'm all yours," Harry replied. He kissed Draco then and applause broke out around them.

The two separated and looked around. Their friends were surrounding them. "I guess you are out of the closet now, Harry."

Harry looked into the eyes of the man he loved. "Yeah, I guess I am. Know what? I don't care." He leaned down and kissed him once more.


End file.
